Kelly-Rose Bradford: No hiding place from the Mummy Mafia

I'VE discovered somewhere else children should be banned from: the theatre. Obviously not for shows especially produced for kids, where their presence should be encouraged - if only to get their parent's urge to do 'cultural visits' over and done with in a suitable environment, with little disruption and inconvenience to the rest of society.Read

Kelly-Rose Bradford: Instructions are for losers - aren't they?

MY MOBILE - aka my life support machine - has been held together with parcel tape for weeks after it flew from my hand and developed cracks all over its casing.Read

Kelly-Rose Bradford: My tip? Serve us, then leave us alone

BOY and I are just back from our seaside retreat. Or, more accurately, someone else's seaside retreat, which we rented for an exorbitant amount, because we are conditioned to believe that The Sea is the place to be come vacation time.Read

Kelly-Rose Bradford: How does a woman do without a car?

FOR the first time in 20 years, I am no longer a car owner. Read

Kelly-Rose Bradford: How Sunday disappeared

THERE are some jobs that should be left to professionals. Clearing out Boy's bedroom, for example.Read

Kelly-Rose Bradford: Penguin jim-jams? There's the line, right there

ON THE day the news broke that a south Wales branch of Tesco was imposing a dress code, I had outdone myself in terms of school run outfit - and this was in the afternoon, not even the morning - sporting wet hair, slippers and boots (it can be done) mismatched pyjamas and a trench coat.Read

Kelly-Rose Bradford: How do I like my coffee? With entertainment

THEY'RE funny things, coffee shops. I have a couple of haunts I work from regularly. Arriving early to secure a seat by an electricity socket, then, my laptop fired up and with many re-orders of pots of tea, I settle down to work. And people-watch.Read

Kelly-Rose Bradford: Sinking feeling over swim lessons

ANOTHER milestone - swimming lessons. All Boy's contemporaries have seemingly had swimming lessons since birth and are now of Olympic standard (and don't you just love a smug mum or granny, saying, 'Yes, Freddie is swimming whole lengths now. Underwater. One armed'?).Read

Kelly-Rose Bradford:Libraries fail to show true grit

PREDICTABLY, I am going to have a moan about the weather. At the time of writing, Boy has still not returned to school and frankly, it seems like years since he was last in school uniform and clutching his book bag.Read

Kelly Rose Bradford: Five minutes into Christmas and already planning the next one

SO. IT CAME and went. Remarkably quietly and without tantrum or tear. Well, from Boy anyway. Read

Kelly Rose Bradford: Leave the romance of snow to the movies

BOY has been dreaming of a white Christmas for six years now. He loves white-out glare that comes through the window after a night of snowfall, and the fluttering of snowflakes against the glass.Read

Kelly Rose Bradford: Let's pretend for another year

BOY is still convinced Santa is real. The myth has been perpetuated by my cheerfully announcing that I have spotted Santa on the high street and at the garden centre. As far as Boy is concerned, there is no doubting his existence.Read

Kelly Rose Bradford: Peace to all? Not if you touch my baubles

DECORATING the house for Christmas. A time when families come together to share in the delights of trimming the tree, putting up cards and ooh-ing and ahh-ing over the reminiscence-inducing properties of decades-old baubles.Read

Kelly Rose Bradford: 'Manger chic' misses the point

IT'S THAT time of year again, when Boy undertakes his annual treading of the boards. This year, he is Announcer One. It involves being dressed in Smart Party Clothes. So, having overlooked the fact that the point of children is that they grow, significantly, on a year on year basis, I whisked his velvet suit out of the wardrobe, gave it a good brush and shake, and declared it Just The Thing for an announcer to wear.Read

Kelly Rose Bradford: Not so keen on the scouts

IT SEEMED like such a good idea: finding the Boy an interest outside of school, sending him somewhere where he would meet lots of new children, learn some interesting stuff and do lots of fun activities. Sadly, as he is a bit too young to be enlisted into the Army, I did the next best thing - made some enquiries about him joining the scouts.Read

Kelly Rose Bradford: Instant funfair bravery

BOY and I visited the Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park last week. The minute we were through the gates, he was enchanted - mainly because he had seen life-sized Sonic and Mario characters wandering around.Read

Kelly Rose Bradford: Photo not even a mother can love

I NEVER thought I would mention my son, Peter Tork of the Monkees and John Major all in the same breath. Read

Kelly-Rose Bradford: Why has no one filled the void left by Woolies?

OVER the past couple of weeks I've realised just how much I miss Woolies.Read

Kelly Rose Bradford: My beach holiday with Star Wars

BY THE time this goes to print, Boy and I will be back in the humdrum of home, school, clock-watching and routine. But for the past week, we have been enjoying half-term and the seaside.Read

Kelly Rose Bradford: Same old story - all plant, no pumpkin

REGULAR readers will recall the inception of a veggie patch at chez KRB back in the spring. With zest and vigour it was tended to for, oooh, a fortnight, at least, and chard and potatoes and tomatoes were duly harvested. Not because of careful tending, but because they grew wild and looked after themselves.Read