Citizen Chris: Coughs and sneezes spread diseases

Nov 17 2008 By Chris Donkin

They're out to get you and are absolutely everywhere... on the tube, in the office, hanging around in bars, on the street and even inside your family and friends. There's no escape - it's winter, the cold bug is here and it wants YOU.

OK, so there's not a lot we can do to prevent ourselves catching it, short of locking ourselves at home or wearing a face mask at all times, but it'd be nice if ill people helped us well ones out a bit.

Basic hygiene costs nothing, is it too much to ask for cold-ridden people to use a tissue as they expel germs out of their mouth/nose? Why are they even at large anyway? I'd much prefer it if ill people just stayed indoors. I'm sorry if the self-sectioning of the sick seems a bit radical, I just don't have the time or money to be unwell.

Cold remedies are horribly expensive and things which are meant to protect you aren't cheap either - the gallons of orange juice I'll need to top up my immune system cost a fortune. Plus if you get infected you've got the inconvenience of having no social life and a bright red nose until the virus vanishes.

I'm too indecisive and ignorant to cope with a cold. Everytime I switch on the TV I'm bombarded by adverts telling me their product is the best cure, as it has a variety of ingredients which I don't understand, and cures a variety of ailments, which I'm not even sure I have.

You can be sure whatever I buy will be the wrong one - not decongestant enough or meant for a dry tickly cough instead of a wet, unfunny one. I'll never win, so prevention is better than cure.

Twice in the last week I've given up a seat on a rush hour tube to try and avoid being the victim of some poor soul's projectile sneezing. These 'suits' were obviously far too ill to be going to work, they looked absolutely awful, yet nobody takes sick days for colds anymore.

Perhaps the work you do is so important you can't take a day off. The problem is, as soon as anyone brings a cold into an office, the air conditioning liberally spreads the germs and before you know it everyone's coughing and sneezing. Then, because everyone battles through the illness without taking a day off, it doesn't leave for months and as a result everyone looks like an extra from Dawn of the Dead.

So please, my heartfelt plea to you is - if you're ill please stay at home, or at least stay off the Piccadilly line.